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Dec 21 - In order for us to observe the time honored Mexican holiday of Chupachristmas we will be on dodgeball holiday hiatus. No Sunday Dodgeball December 25th and January 1st. Those of you interested in being a part of the 2 week event in Ensenada where we will be reenacting Palota Muerte, the great dodgeball battle between Mexican Villagers and the hated/misunderstood Chupacabras should contact Lissete Garcia. We will return January 8th sporting new and improved lycra blended dodgeball attire.





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Dec 01 - The 2005 Tofurkey Bowl Featuring the Los Pilgrims vs The Rojo Indians has been cancelled do to the passing of one of dodgeball/life's greatest "Asian" good guys. Pat Morita passed away and we all better people for the lessons he taught us through his divine voice as Mr. Myagi (yes,he was pretty fun on Happy Days). We'll always remember that without you Pat, there is no such thing as Ralph Macchio. Thanks for the memories, now show me sand deck.






Click here for more info.






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Sept 6th - Shazbot everybody! Saturday September 24th it's time to get your na nu na nu on. The 11th Annual Mork & Mindy Co-ed Classic Dodgeball Tournament is going to be straight outa Ork. Teams of 6 players must have at least 2 females(w/ a total roster of up to 8)There will be 2 co-ed divisions. Advanced Dungeons & Dragons will be the more hardcore division and the Care Bear division will be more softcore. Great prizes and lots of schwag for everybody.

For more info and to register click here.





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 Dear Diary,
We went to the OC for a dodgeball tourney. My friend Todd thinks they should call it Lemon County. The TV show makes the girls look prettier and the guys a lot smarter than in real life, but they are kinda nice.

The dodgeball was hot. No, it was really hot. It was O.K. though becuase Spaz is one of the few people in the city of Orange with an in ground pool. They make all of the Vietnamese people live in one neighborhood which I don't think is nice. I think Dave Mathews is the Mayor of the O.C., but we only saw Mitch Hedburg and some Karate guy. We came first and second. The first place team was a bunch of a-holes though who have sex w/ trophies.

p.s. We also won another tournament in the O.C. that a guy named Spaz Dug hosted. He talked really fast. The hot dogs were expensive and the trophey had some powder on that the policeman said was "whacky dust". I don't think they let Spaz Dug have the tourney anymore.






Click here for more info.






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 Dear Andy,
I don't want to live if living is without you.
Your Friend,
Arturo

August 15 - There will be no dodgeball this Sunday the 21st. We will be celebrating Andy Luster's Annual "Arturo we need some time apart Trip To Alaska" Our favorite dodgeball metal head will be spreading the word of Pantera to the Eskimoes and moshing with Kodiak Bears. We will be back to business as usual the following Sunday though having forgotten everything we knew about Andy Luster. This Wednesday night is come be Arturo's new best friend night. From 8-10pm Arturo will be interviewing people for the part of his best amigo*

*This part was formerly played by Andy, however Aturo feels this person need not be an Andy Luster clone for that would be impossible and go against god and science.






July 7th - Thankfully this years 4th of July game was not quite the "blast" as last years game. The ban on fireworks seems to be a good idea, but of course hindsight is 20/20. Nubby our prayers are with you. Reminder that it's not too late to be part of the best summer ever with the "Willie Aames Master of the Unicorns: Summer Season" Willie Aames is to dodgeball what Boy George is to hop scotch is to sac races. Games are every Wednesday Night at 8 or 9pm. I encourage everyone in the spirit of Buddy Lembeck to do something crazy and if playing dodgeball in a chicken outfit is "crazy" then so be it! Remember this season Willies' In Charge and I don't mean Willie Nelson because he's on the road again amigos. The remainder of the season can be yours for only $34.99. Email if you'd like to be a part of the best thing since He-Man vs Strawberry Shortcake on Ice.





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June 21 - In your face! Whoever said Ralph Macchio+Dodgeball+Unicorns+Crisco=Disaster was only half right.ÊThanks to everyone who came out for the Karate Kid Classic. Mr. Miyagi would be very proud of the "Bonzai Bitches" the winners of the Co-ed/Daniel-son division and probably would give Spazi-son an old car for wax on wax off with the "Weapons of Ass Destruction" winners of the Guys/Cobra Kai Division. I believe Peter Cetera summed it up best when he said: "I am a man who will fight for your honor
    I'll be the hero that you're dreamin' of Gonna live forever, knowin' together That we did it all for the glory of love"
LEAGUE - the new season gets under way Wednesday June 29th. There is an open house this WednesdayÊfor all those interested in being a part of the magical summer season. Click here for more details.





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June 14 - This Saturday do the Karate Kid Classic Dodgeball Tournament at the Beautiful Bellevue Rec Center & Dodgeball Dojo in Silver Lake. Mr. Miyagi would beat you with his brown belt from J.C. Penney's for not having your registration in yet, butÊI am willing to let you off with a nose honkÊand allow youÊslackers to submit registration via an email. Either send me your team roster/name/divison or individual info. You will need to arrive at 12 to register/pay the day of. I am doing this for Ralph Macchio.





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June 1 - Remember that time the 27 year old "kid" entered that karate contest for teenagers and whipped allÊthere asses with the help of his old asian drinking buddy and some underage girl? Well here is your chance to wax on wax off amigos. Your the best around and no one's gonna take it away from you. Saturday June 18th at the Bellevue Rec Center and Dojo in Far East Silverlake it's the Karate Kid Classic Dodgeball Tournament. It's your chance to dust off the 'olÊkarate outfit and play with your nunchucks. Lots of sweet prizes including those karate lessons you've been wanting for the last 20 years. You wont want to miss it. This promises to be the best dodgeballl tournament in weeks or I'll karate kick your head. "Mercy is for the week, but dodgeball is 4 ever." - Mr. Myagi

Sign up today, now show me sand deck.





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BING Oh!
What better way to celebrate America than with booze, bingo, and a Bar Mitzvah! A Memorial weekend to memorialize Saturday May 28th 9pm at the most American Ho-tel ever Hollywood Ramada 1160 N. Vermont Ave. [ map ]

There will be Old School Bingo with Neal Hamburger, appearance by Barry, Arturo Arevallo singing God Bless America with Andy Luster's electric guitar accompaniment, Music with the Black Comets, DJs Jasepi and Em, live piano Karaoke and most importante you will all be there to celebrate 'lil Toddy Galagher becoming a man! Everybody Bar Mitzvah! I encourage you all to dress classy like this was the only Bar Mitzvah you will ever be a part of. "If you catch one Bar Mitzvah this season make it Toddy Galagher's." - Hebrew Times

Tickets are $5 if you RSVP or $7 at the door

Drink specials from 9-10pm





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May 9 - Congrats to M.I.L.F. for winning the 17th Annual Mothers Day Massacre Tournament. For the 3rd year in a row these moms take the cake in the mothers only tourney. Also, the results are in from our survey of what cities you'd most like to go roller skate in and what dodgeball players you'd like to have an ice cream eating contest:

6. Detroit (Strati, Ben Toth, Dave Rice...)
5. Los Angeles (Kel Watrin, Bennedetto, Mandy)
4. Chicago (Breadtruck, Anna Bartsch...)
3. Denver (Bobby Roe, Danno,)
2. Philadelphia (Art Spigel, Mia, Chris Bullis)
1. New York (Tyrone Rush, )
*these results should not be confused with the outcome of the 3rd season of any TV show





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 April 18th, 2005 - A black guy from Nigeria,a Mexican,an ambigously gay duo and Cagney and Lacey 2000 walk into the 29th Annual Burt Reynolds Classic,mingle for a bit, play some dodgeball,tell some jokes and walk out and head straight to Chuck E Cheese.

Congrats to Jesse Jackson's Rainbow Coalition and Weapons of Ass(aka Donkey) Destruction the Big Winners of the Classic. Burt thanks all of the other teams who came out and reminds all of you losers that winning is for losers and that just like Smokey and the Bandit all great things have sequals(except for Cop and a Half)The hay ride parade will be at Spaz's house next Saturday! Reminder in the end good facial hair always prevails in the game of dodgeball.





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Don't delay the dream register today!

Deadline is April 15th

Due to the fact that I am inept at operating a fax machine and that I too can be a slacker at times (also it's my Birthday weekend and Birthday) I am allowing late registers to sign up via email. Sign up via email either as a team or individual because this is what Burt would want you to do.

NO DODGEBALL THIS SUNDAY APRIL 17th






Feb 28 - TOURNAMENT!!! The long awaited 27th Annual Burt Reynold's Los Angeles Dodgeball Invitational Tournament and Mustache ExpoÊis coming! Calling all guys and girls who have ever dreamt of Burt's mustache or anyone looking to bust out there old nut huggers or spandex for a 'lil dodgeball tournament. Saturday April 16th from 12-5pm in Silver Lake we find out who the real Burt Reynolds of dodgeball are. As a tribute to this phenominal man and patron saint of the mustache I encourage all participants (male,female, or Asian) to start growing those staches now.






Feb 11 - A wise man once asked me if I believed in God and I told him well I guess? Where else could've Magnum P.I. come from.

Tom Selleck Classic, Volume 2

Info can be found at www.TomSelleckClassic.com

The rumors are all true, and this, my friend, is your lucky day. You are hereby invited to join in what will be one of the most memorable and fun experiences of your lifetime - The Tom Selleck Classic!

"What exactly is the Tom Selleck Classic?" you may ask. The TSC is an annual mustache contest open to everyone, created for the purposes of raising mustache awareness, building brotherhood among your true friends, and this year we have taken the Classic to a new level by making the event a charity benefit. The contest is simple Ð shave your face clean for Day 1 ( Feb 14 ), and whoever has the "best" stache by day 32 wins!




Everyone knowsÊthe super bowl is this Sunday well lah tee dah, but most of you don't know what else it is I bet? It is St. Stephen O'Hanson Day. The great pagan Irish Catholic Saint who helped the world realize that there pain and suffering ain't so bad compared to his. He loved us so much that removed his spine and lived the rest of his life in a hell on earth(or a studio apt with the devil)Êso we could be happy.

We are playing dodgeball at a special time this Sunday 12:00-2:30 in honor of this great man. Please help spread the word.





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Jan 18 - In the name of Ricky Schroeder don't just sit there bust a move! The Alamacani Jr High cordially invites you all to "1986 Jam On It Ultimate Winter Dance--Reenactment" This is for reals home slice. Saturday January 29th at Met Theater it's on! There will be live bands, DJs, makin' out, wine coolers, and who knows maybe someone will make past 2nd base this year. Tickets are $5 in advance or $7 at the door. In honor of Ricky we will be having his long time friend "Antonio" aka Carlton Banks lead us in dance. For info click here.





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Jan 8 - Two priests, an albano Puerta Rican karaoke singer, Bobcat Goldwaith, a woman dressed as Teen Wolf and a half robot half midget ninja all are gathered at bar. What's missing they say...Only the original party animal(sorry Arturo, but you are still delicious) TOBIAS McKINNEY, straight out of fat camp muther*ucker. Finally big baby jesus is back. Most of you have been asking me where's Tobias? Truth is that he has been rather busy doing lots of fun,dangerous, and exciting things. What things? He learned to swim(with manatees) He has adopted 12 stray dogs( one with only two legs, and started his very own dog racing night in the valley) He has become an ultimate black-out fighter(similar to cage fighting, but you are blacked out and often fighting no one. He dominates his weight class.) He is in negotions with Fuji TV to become the official spoeks model for the "taint brush". Grown a mustache and directed several "foreign" films in Tijuana. Anyways, everyone's favorite fat guy Tobias will be at dodgeball on Sunday to pose for pictures and show off his new tatoos. If you thought the Tazmanian Devil on snow skis was the bomb then you wont want to miss this.






Jan 01 - Happy New Years! Regarding the Los Angeles Dodgeball Society I would like to see these things happen in 2005. The surviving members of the Fat Boys team up with Kenny Loggins for a top ten hit. Camoflauge spandex biker shorts become the rage. Donkey Kong vs Dig Dug the Movie(also, "35 Candles" How Mollie Ringwalds's career vanished the documentary) Burt Reynolds and Tom selleck team up for a buddy cop film or TV series. And on a personal note I would like to start a Hall and Oates Tribute band with Tobias McKinney. Let's make 2005 the Year of the Maneater. From this day until the end of 2005 I will be doin' it for Hall n Oates.Thanks everyone for making 2004 a sweet year.




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