Los Angeles Dodgeball Society

2006 | 2005 | 2004 | 2003

December 17th, 2003 - It's true, Saddam Hussein has been captured... And he was right under our nose all this time. It's obvious now who that bearded foreign man who has been at dodgeball for the past few months is. The signs were all there... The millions of dollars in payoffs to "keep quiet", the dozens of players who are missing after being on his team and losing... Even the "Don't shoot!, I am Saddam, President of Iraq" has a new meaning in retrospect. Hell I thought he was just a friendly guy who baked a lot and had a fetish for saying "Tickle my Elmo! Tickle my Elmo!" One thing is for certain though, we will miss him and his lamb kabobs. He may be an international war criminal to others, but to us, he's just a great dodgeballer.

December 1st, 2003 - Dodgeball has been going strong since the last update. Our master plan of creating an army of super rock wielding soldiers is almost complete. Until then training... I mean dodgeball, is on. This Sunday (December 7th) we will be recreating the battle of Pearl Harbor. Nearly one half of you will be playing the German side, and one half will be the other side whoever that was. I will be playing the part of Ben Affleck, the parts of Obi Wan and John Belushi is still up for grabs. Email me if you think you would be good at it. Admission to this very special event will still be $5. Mahalo.

September 27th, 2003 - What an amazing weekend we have lined up for you! The Blacks Beach Bare-ass Ballers will be squaring off against the 'Frisco Free Love and Nude is Natural Society, in what is sure to be our most risqué dodgeball match since we hosted the Girls of Europe free for all in 1999. Uniforms may include sneakers, socks, and sweatbands. Nutshots will count. Lysol will be provide (to disinfect the DODGE-balls). Please shower before coming to this match, we do not want a repeat of what happened at the nudist touch football event and their pubic elves infestation last July.

September 19th, 2003 - This week we will be hosting the the Geriatric Dodgeball Invitational. The Palm Springs Jitterbugs will be competing against the West Palm Beach Dapper Daddy-O's in a match up that's sure to predict who will win the 2003/2004 National Geriatric Dodgeball Championships held in April in Las Vegas. Last year when these two forces of professional athleticism met at the NGDC it turned into a melee of mythical proportions when the late John "Kid Lightning" O'Brien was called out after he committed a foul for stepping over the line. Three broken hips and dozens of shattered dentures later, the match was called in favor of the Dapper's since they had the only non-injured player left. This Sunday's match will be called at 1:30 if there is no clear victor so the athletes can make it to dinner (at 2:30) and nap time (at 3pm, no excuses). Due to court regulations, walkers will NOT be permitted on the playing surface, so teams should schedule accordingly. Open gym dodgeball this week will begin on time at 1:30 as scheduled.

September 10th, 2003 - I'm sure you all know the historical significance of this weekend, that's right, you guessed it!!! This weekend will be the 64th annual Dodgeball Civil War reenactment and Stormtrooper extravaganza (this years Star Wars vs. Little Rascals Fan Club event will be held in December). Horses will be provided for the confederate side, union side must bring their own horses. Muskets and swords must be provided by participants, however Mrs. Rabinowicz will be providing prune juice and powdered beverage refreshments for everyone. This years event will focus on the age old argument, "Cannon ball or laser gun, which is more powerful?" Let's try to avoided the catastrophe caused at the 63rd annual event, where the gym was burned and sacked by the victorious side.

September 5th, 2003 - This Sunday, dodgeball is on, but the very special "animal dodgeball tournament extraordinaire and petting zoo 2003" will be called off due to the stupid PETA (you know who you are) and Animal Planets Animal Cops telling me that dogs playing dodgeball is not "humane". As if they even know what that means. How inhumane is fun? Seriously. The Gerbil Olympics are still on though, so go ahead and bring your gerbil.

August 26th, 2003 - Talk about kinky! Last Sunday's mantastic man on man dodgeball game was amazing. The turn out was incredible, I'm not so good with numbers, but I would say about a thousand guys showed up. We had to turn away the half wearing spandex unitards, but the rest enjoyed the afternoon. This Sunday (August 31st) let's try to get a few ladies to show up. To play, or cheer. It's interesting though, that this weekend is topless dodgeball weekend in Canada... This weekend is also Labor Day weekend, and what's a better way to celebrate than with a few games of dodgeball. It's as American as Pabst Blue Ribbon, apple pie, and the time honored tradition of destroying anyone weaker or less talented than yourself. Just a friendly reminder that next Sunday (September 7th) will be animal dodgeball, so bring your pets. Also attendees will receive tickets to a Rubiks Cube seminar FREE!!!!